Don Juan of Pesos

5^th Nov

11:30 local

As I said in my last post: I probably wouldn’t write on Wednesday night.  I had good intentions to but the vast task of packing all my kit the night before somewhat preoccupied me.  I spent most of the night packing, repacking; weighing, reweighing and before I knew it: it was 2 am.  With regards to the weighing of my bags my bathroom scales aren’t the best.  To be honest they’re rubbish.  So instead what do I do? I create a character on Wii Fit called Baggy and measure the weight that way.  It was such a riiiidiculous thing to do but I was getting desperate.  And what really started to get annoying was when the Wii repeatedly told me that for Baggy’s weight and height his BMI equalled death.  It’s a bag! I don’t care what its BMI is or its Wii fit age is, just weigh the bastard thing! “Oh Baggy with a Wii Fit age of 70 and a BMI of 2, you should really go to hospital” – Sod off. 

Everything after that went well and I arrived at Heathrow with PLENTY of time to spare which for me was very unusual.  Before I left I had a nice lunch with the family who came to see me off.  No tears, so I can only assume they cracked open the champers when they got back in the car! 

At the time of writing I’m currently sitting in Santiago Airport, Chile, waiting for my connecting flight to Punta Arenas.  It’s the first time I’ve been to South America and from what I can see out of the windows of the terminals it is stunning.  On the flight in from Madrid we were told to put our seatbelts on as we passed over the Andes, no idea why; and at the risk of being called gay, they were breath taking.  To fly over the Andes at 25,000ft is something that my literary skills cannot do justice.  The snow capped peaks hinted at what was to come later on this journey.

13:35 local

Just had lunch and I’ve realised what people have known for a while: I have special needs.  I paid for everyone else’s meals as I needed to pay by card and instantly forgot that everyone had paid me back for their food.  So I’ve got Pesos.  I’ve got lots of Pesos.  I’m effectively the Don Juan in terms of Pesos.  So what do I do? Take out more Pesos of course.  $20,000 more.  So now I have $60,000.  Great.  Firstly why in God’s name does your currency need to be so big Chile? Take of at least a nought or two.  $600 for a can of coke?  Knock off the last zero and let’s call it 60 cents or something.  Secondly: what the hell do I do with $60,000? Buy 100 cans of coke? For anyone who’s wondering what the current exchange is on Pesos: $1000 is about £1.20.  I know some of you at this point are probably saying: “What’s he so uppity about? It’s only £72.” I’m only in Chile one night which means I’ll have to blow most of it tonight.  Luckily we have found a few places to visit in Punta, including a Japanese WWII style club.  Yeah, I know what you’re thinking.  

6^th Nov

Today was supposed to be the day, but it turns out it isn’t.  I’m writing this from my hotel room but I should be in the Antarctic now.  Unfortunately due to adverse weather conditions we are stuck here until Monday.  So it looks like it’s a good job I am the Don Juan of Pesos after all. 

Yesterday when we were met by the agent sent to meet and greet us at the airport, we were told that we would probably be flying this morning.  That was put back until the afternoon and the afternoon soon became Monday.  To be honest I’m not complaining: the hotel’s nice, there are bars and restaurants and, especially for those staying the 18 months, it’s a chance to relax before getting on to the continent.  I also met up with Tom Gilderthorp who is the other Royal Navy holdover as well as the SNOC.  As it turns out the weather is holding a lot more people up than just myself. Gilders was supposed to have arrived two days ago. 

We didn’t end up in the Japanese bar last night.  It was located at the end of a dark alley with two shifty looking men standing at the end of it.  Instead we ended up in the Union Club in the basement of a mansion built for the widow of a wealthy wool merchant in the 1800’s. It turned out it was the place to be when in Punta on a Friday night and we spent the evening drinking the local beer and listening to Rod Stewart, not exactly the night I had planned! 

Hopefully the next time I write it will be to say that I’m on Antarctic soil and not that I’ve been delayed further. But I’m not holding my breath or counting my Pesos......